I have been craving for jam these past two weekends. I scoured Puregold for some good ol' jam but I couldn't find one to my liking. Then, the past weekend, I went to Rockwell and was able to find a jam that looked good enough. Could've been better, but it was good enough. I've been thinking of thick brown toast slathered with warm butter, then topped with a rich fruit jam - my preference being strawberry or blueberry. I settled for a French blueberry jam. I still miss the blueberry jam I used to buy in Japan. It was a cheap brand - similar to the SM bonus brand - but it was rich and yummy.
I wish things in life could be fixed as easily as finding a perfect jam. I would even settle for a good enough fix. I've just been feeling restless and so I pour my restless energy in violin practice. Recently, I've been playing the piano again, after being inspired by Nodame from Nodame Cantabile :) Sweet drama :)
The weekend past, I watched a movie, bought books, studied Korean and math. Things seem to be getting routine again. But the learning keeps my weeks bearable. I'm slowly getting the hang of Korean. Very similar to Japanese and it's easier to read. Grammar's kind of tricky, but after French, grammar for Asian languages seem so much easier :P
My mom talked about buying burial clothes for my grandparents. It's a "double month" in the Chinese calendar, and the Chinese say that such things can only be bought on such months. And tradition also says that it's the daughters who are responsible for paying for these garments. My grandmother appreciated the gesture, I think, but she laughed it off saying she preferred more modern garments so my mom need not bother. I just suddenly realized how steeped in tradition the Chinese culture is, and how little I know about Buddhist practices and beliefs, about the traditional Chinese ways. I do not know if doing these so-called practices really do any good, but I guess there's no harm in doing them.
I also realized that I have come to a point in life where death has become a natural subject for conversation. For my grandfather, the mention of death scares him. For my grandmother, it is treated as a matter-of-fact thing. These thoughts and conversations on passing away do no good for my already restless spirit.
I'm blabbing but I don't really care. I'm just writing things as they pop into my head. I finished reading The Art of Racing in the Rain. Beautiful book. It touched me and made me believe in human resilience and happy endings. Now, I'm reading the book Angel lent me - The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. I'm thinking about which drama to watch next after finishing Nodame Cantabile. Maybe I'll switch to a Chinese one before watching another Japanese drama.
Will end blabbering here.
...
I think I'll eat a slice of buttered toast with jam tomorrow.
Met up with Angel today at CCF :D I missed that girl! Also got to see Carolyn :)
I love how we both love to read and that we can discuss books, old friends, recent happenings, and everything under the sun...kinda like we used to before at Caf Up.
She lent me The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Might seem like a boring title but I've read many great reviews about it. :)
Angel got to watch Wicked in NY! Coolness! I hope I get an opportunity to do so too.
Today's service made me reflect on my own impatience about the future, about my plans, about where I am now. It seems as if I grumble more than ever these days, even if just to myself. Today was a reminder that I need to trust God, trust that He has plans for me, and these things might not happen according to my timetable.
Got an email from the Rotman correspondent today. Will email back tomorrow with a reply.
Dinner at Ama's house later. Howell might go~ Should be interesting.
Dinner last night at Uno was nice as well. Got to wear my new heels :) Also saw Jilliane, who has such a happy disposition :)
Despite a sort of sluggish start, today was a good day :D
Here are my 5 happy moments:
- Woke up early so I had time to have a leisurely breakfast. Breakfast/brunch is my favorite meal of the day :)
- Walked around with Ama and Dad around the production site today. It was nice hearing the little stories between them. Ama bought warm veggie buns too :D Sa-pe also bought Krispy Kreme donuts! Yum!
- Emailed Nakagawa-san and Fukazawa-san and they replied :D I'm happy to be back in touch with them. Fukazawa-san has an awesome new job! Happy for him!
- Violin lessons went great. My teacher says I'm improving. Currently practicing the three Minuet pieces and My Happy Farmer. Almost done with Suzuki Book One. Yehey!
- Ni and zel (even my parents played along! :D) did Uniqua, Pablo, and Tigger role-playing. With the special participation of Polar Bear and Blue Bear :P
Fathers' day today was spent at Ever Memorial with my cousins and aunts and uncles. Chatted with Achi Rowena to catch up on family "tsismis" (gossip) and dog stories (she now has 23 dogs, mostly pekinese breeds).
Then, had lunch at Circles. Saw a few acquaintances - friends of parents, Matt Matthew. Saw Cherie Gil with her 2 children as well. Loved the indian food :) The Indian chef even stopped to chat :) I like the crumbly cheesecake dessert, plain cheesecake accentuated only with a small slice of tart kiwi. Yummy!
Went to Makro where we bought lots of bottles of juice and tested whether the packaging material for the different products was PVC or POF. Hehe.
Practiced the violin for a bit when I got home.
Then we went out for dinner again, at Shantung. Saw Boss Pete (who didn't see me) and a friend of Coco's.
I still feel stuffed...and it's 10:32 pm...will probably not help digestion :(
---Another thought from the book "The Art of Racing in the Rain---
"Her last breath took her soul...she was released from her body, and, being released, she continued her journey elsewhere, high in the firmament where soul material gathers and plays out all the dreams and joys of which we temporal beings can barely conceive, all the things that are beyond our comprehension, but even so, are not beyond our attainment if we choose to attain them, and believe that we truly can."
Korean classes left me dizzy today. So many grammar points in one class. Mind-boggling, to say the least. But it was fun :) Will take hours of intensive studying to catch up :S
GMAT review was quite tiring as well. Data sufficiency, why do you find happiness in tormenting me? Sniff.
Started my new book, The Art of Racing in the Rain, while waiting for my ride home. Spent around an hour in Seattle's Best. The book's an engaging read :) Funny and touching, filled with witty insights.
Some thoughts I bookmarked:
"...racing is doing, It is being part of a moment and being aware of nothing else but that moment. Reflection must come at a later time...When I am racing, my mind and my body are working so quickly and so well together, I must be sure not to think, or else I will definitely make a mistake."
That's how I am when I'm playing the piano. I'm so immersed, my fingers seem to be moving on their own. When I stop to think about notes, I forget what I'm playing and make a mistake.
"She was my rain. She was my unpredictable element. She was my fear. But a racer should not be afraid of the rain; a racer should embrace the rain. I, alone, could manifest a change in that which was around me. By changing my mood, my energy, I allowed [others] to regard me differently. And while I cannot say that I am a master of my own destiny, I can say that I have experienced a glimpse of mastery, and I know what I have to work toward."
Will share more insights from the book as I read more.
Ended the day with dinner at Mushroom Burger with my mom and eizel :)
writing is the outlet for my introspective, rationalizing self.
i find comfort in it - whether it be laughing over the silliest of
things, sharing the mundaneness of daily routines, or breaking & dissecting the
complicated strands that bind life together.
welcome to my world. you may find it utterly eventless at times, my thoughts overly
philosophical, my views a bit distorted. but however you may find them to be, they are
the thoughts, opinions, events, and emotions that propel, inspire, trouble, and comprise
me.
my life encapsulated.
i am. i love.
bookworm
music lover
optimist
vegetarian
the hustle and bustle of airports
traveling and sightseeing
coffee table conversations
good food & yummy desserts
daydreaming
foreign languages
the sound of crunching leaves
live with intention walk to the edge listen hard practice wellness
play with abandon laugh choose with no regret continue to learn
appreciate your friends do what you love live as if this is all there is
diary of an anorexic girl
Dreams...how many dreams are out there, swirling in the atmosphere, mingling with oxygen,
stars, and earth? How many wisheson candles and falling stars have burned out with the
light of their source?
People walk around on a mission - a sad mission - to forget the dreams that were
nourished in youth. They feign happiness in the face of success, labor, and the monotomy of life.
There are too many abandoned dreams. Why doesn't someone reach up and grab one, fashion a net out of optimism, youth,
passion. Braid the threads of childhood, carelessness, and lazy Saturdays into a web of hope in which the dreams will
naturally fly.
Happiness is not an impossibility; it just needs a little
imagination.
one tree hill
Katherine Anne Porter once said: There seems to be a kind
of order in the universe in the movement of the stars and in
the turning of the earth and the changing of the seasons. But
human life is almost pure chaos. Everyone takes his stance,
asserts his own rights and feelings, mistaking the motives of
others, and his own.
Si Tu S'avais by Shy'm