family reunions

there was new year's party at great-uncle vicente's last night. it's a yearly thing ^o^nothing out of the ordinary. buffet dinner (there was a salad with a yummy french dressing with hints of cheese and a vegetable pie - a vegetarian take on your traditional chicken pie). then there were four kinds of dessert - mango (or was it peach) crepe, blueberry cheescake!, cream puffs topped with chocolate, and suman at saging. a haven for someone with a sweet tooth ^o^

the kids played around in taima's room afterwards, watched tv while the grown-ups chatted til around 11pm.

i've always thought of such reunions as normal, nothing extraordinary. yet, i think that it's the laughter that reverberates around the room when a-ku or bekukong tells a story, when anecdotes are remembered, trips abroad are reminisced, opinions are shared - over coffee and fruits. it's these conversations that make reunions happy and worthwhile. they fill you with warmth and comfort. as routine and predictable as they are, they're never quite boring because every year there is laughter, love, and sharing - the essence of a family.

Philips ad

i saw this ad at cherry. it reminded me of the mastercard commercials (the ones with the tagline - for everything else, there's mastercard). nothing special. it just struck a chord ^o^

little comparisons

i went to cherry foodarama and ongpin the other day. i was kind of surprised by how cheap things were - more than i remembered them to be.


instant noodles for 5 pesos a pack. bananas - 72 pesos for a whole bunch. it's kind of dangerous though coz feeling that things are so much cheaper, i don't have as much qualms about buying them, which could lead to buying useless things.

then there were the big shopping carts. in japan, they only use small baskets. i think because they go to the supermarket every day. they buy just enough for the night's dinner. there, everything comes neatly packed but in small portions.


and they sell japanese mayonnaise here!! hehe. didn't notice it before. it's yummy with yakisoba noodles. they even sell curry here, but not the vegetarian version.

of course, the philippines is vegetarian-friendly ^o^

settling in

arrived at 1230am yesterday. flight was delayed, plane departed 9pm instead of the original 740pm. the waiting was a bit tedious. plane food was surprisingly yummy (pasta with this tart sweet tomato sauce), salad, and bread roll. in-flight movie was bewitched. i love nicole kidman!

it feels sort of weird to be home. things are so familiar and weird at the same time. probably because of the sudden change in schedules and routines. the pc monitor seems abnormally big, so does the tv. my sister seems to have grown far more than i expected. the room seems to have tons more stuff. the piano needs to be tuned again. the weather seems to be cool (not as hot as i expected). everything just seems...normal. it's just kind of weird, settling in when you're home, having to adjust. different environments:

-there are english tv shows again (there's cable again!)
-the internet is slower (i used dsl back in nagoya)
-there's much more food in the fridge (lots of veggies too - i missed kangkong and veggie ham)
-i actually slept on a bed again last night (i still prefer it to a futon)
-i turned the airconditioner (i turned on the heater/stove in my dorm)
-my mom cooked food for me (i missed that!)
-i wrote text messages in english
-i didn't use mandarin or japanese to speak to anyone today

it's good to be back. i'll be happy to go back to japan too i guess. experiencing two worlds. both with their good sides and bad sides. you're here and you miss the "there." human nature ^o^i guess i'll just make the most of what i have now, wherever i may be.

happy holidays!

earthquake

there was an earthquake today at around 11am or so. i was in the kitchen/dining area when the cupboards started moving, the lights started shaking. i was thinking "earthquake!" but some part of me thought that "it can't be possible." but it was an earthquake alright, of 4.8 intensity. as gilbert said, not that strong but enough to give you a scare. my first earthquake in japan. wow.

filipino talk

had dinner last night at a chinese restaurant with ms. daisy montesa and joey. it was a filipino get-together dinner. ^o^

dinner was delicious. had curry noodles which resembled singaporean bihon. the conversation though was much more interesting. we talked about japanese culture and their views on family. we compared it with filipino culture. we talked about politics and why the philippines seems to be stagnant. we talked about filipinos working abroad and why the generation nowadays want to live abroad for good. we talked about class discrimination and how education is a problem. we talked about the Imelda documentary and how there's an Imelda in all of us. we talked about being tied to material things and not giving importance to values. we talked about generation differnces, particulary in the case of values. we talked about choices and how sometimes things just fall into place, land in our laps without our really searching for them. we talked about how the philippines became a country first before it became a nation, how there are traces of feudalism in it's (imposed) democracy. we talked about going home and buying pasalubongs and eating noche buena. we talked about manggang hilaw, bagoong, and patis. we talked about how vancouver has such an effective transportation system, how toronto is home to niagara falls. we talked about china and its booming economy plus how and why it has to slow down its growth (the repercussions the rest of the world will suffer with the increase in oil demand and pollution). we talked about missing nagoya and its subway system, the supermarkets and bakeries, osu kannon and the weather.

yes, it was a night where conversation was rich and flowing, where laughter was abundant, where minds were made to ponder and to question. talking with your kababayan is different in that you all have some sort of mutual understanding, possess innate characteristics that are innate and unique to filipinos, and with that, somehow you don't need to explain yourself too much because you're understood. people "get" you.

幸福

the state of being happy, of feeling lucky is an abstract thought, a fleeting experience. it is a state that we are in constant search for. but what is happiness? love. family. success. different people have different definitions.

according to a japanese author (whose name escapes me at the moment), happiness or luck is being able to enjoy a good beef meal. beef isn't something you need, it's just something you want to eat. without it, you'd be okay. it wouldn't affect your existence. yet it is precisely because you are able to have this added luxury of having beef every day that you feel lucky. it is that something extra that you get. the same case goes for buying shoes. you'd be fine with a pair. the main purpose of shoes is to protect the feet. with only two feet, how many pairs do you really need? but having more pairs would make you feel happy, which is why we (or i at least) sometimes can't resist buying just another pair even if wear it but twice.

i was just thinking that there must be more to life than seeking happiness from material things. it just seems too simple, too shallow. it seems a bit selfish too. but then again, everything is self-centered. if i wish to not concentrate on material things, i'd say that helping others would make me happy. it seems pretty selfless but in fact, the reason why we want to help others could be to make ourselves feel better, to reassure ourselves that we are not cold-blooded, that we are making a contribution to society. it is not a selfless sacrifice for even if we have the other's best interests in mind, we will always have some recurring thought at the back of our minds - how will this benefit me? so is man really capable of self-sacrifice? living for others, serving others - are these just nobler terms for the search for self-fulfillment and self-happiness? could possibly be...

farewell party

the cjs program's fall semester has come to an end. yesterday, after the final exams, there was a slide show presentation by coffee hour's keiko and akiko, drama presentations from ito sensei's class (nancy was cute! i loved her role as "hope"), and of course, the farewell party at bon marché. it brought back memories of the first few days of orientation when we had a welcome party at the very same place. ironic and apt - holding a welcome party and a farewell party in the same venue.

upon entering the place, you could see two long buffet tables! smorgasbord! sushi, sweet and sour fish (or pork), sandwiches, breads and pastries, yakisoba, sweetened camote, lobster!, breaded asparagus...need i say more? it was a feast ^o^

there was a lot of picture taking - with friends who would be going home already, mostly american friends. it was sad. when i saw christina crying, it kinda started to sink in that i could never see these people again. these past four months, we have spent days together, worrying over classes, laughing over japanese quirks, discussing politics, sharing stories...in those four months, people from different countries were brought together. it's sad that after four months, we have to go our own separate ways again. sad but then again, we go off gifted with memories. as marie said, "kokoro ga ippai ni natta."

yesterday, even the host families went to the farewell party. sabrina made a little thank you speech to her host mom and her host mom cried. it was touching... sometimes, we experience things that we want so much to freeze in time, but their impermanence, fleetingness somehow makes them more treasured and memorable. the experiences and friends i have made here, i will keep with me forever. they are memories i will go back to in the future and smile wistfully at. i am thankful that i am here now - not only in the physical sense - because right now, i wouldn't rather be anywhere else ^o^

thank you to everyone for making this semester such a memorable one!

snow falling on cedars

what happens when it snows in nagoya? well, in the case of kojima foreign students dormitory, everyone rushes out (from the warm kitchen) armed with their cameras and act like little kids ^o^ oh yeah. everyone was jumping, twirling, taking photos. it was like rain! in no time at all, the garden was covered in a white sheath. the tree branches welcomed the snowflakes with outstretched arms. winter wonderland.

that's the view from my room! V(^o^)

eka started making snowballs. eric practiced kendo. i made a snowman with a sort of weird face made from carrot bits. overall, it was playtime for around an hour and a half.

i don't remember making a snowman in canada. while i was rolling the ball in the snow, i was thinking of calvin and how much fun he had throwing snowballs and making snowmen ^o^

after making snowballs with my bare hands, i couldn't feel them. i ran them under warm water. it hurt a bit. but after a while, i got used to the chill ^o^

thank you Lord for the wonderful snow-filled day!

quote for the day

from neil:

"you're too OC to be left behind..."

christmas shopping

went christmas shopping today at sakae and hisaya-oodori. it was fun. hadn't been there in a while. it was oddly relaxing, window-shopping, comparing prices, choosing stuff. it isn't often that i go shopping alone as i always tend to need second opinions almost all the time. but today, it was kind of an unwinding. sometimes, solitude is comforting. sometimes, you just need to reconnect with yourself. i did kind of spend a lot - peso-wise - but i think i did okay yen-wise. i didn't buy anything over the top.

just read an articles from the phil. star about how holidays, esp xmas, are so focused now on material things and gifts that its essence has been disappearing gradually. in japan, xmas is celebrated as a gift-giving holiday since only a minority of japanese are catholics. are other countries turning like that too? when did material things start to overshadow the fact that it is Jesus' birthday?

so as fun as christmas shopping is, as receiving and exchanging gifts is, as eating christmas cake and partaking of noche buena is, we'll all have to remember the true reason why we celebrate Christmas. it would be a shame to let it die out coz then, what different would Christmas be from other holidays? in our busy lives, we sometimes wander from the path. the important thing now is to get back on it.

sayuri: memoirs of a geisha

this afternoon, i watched memoirs of a geisha (or Sayuri, which is the japanese title) with boe at 109 cinemas. the movie started at 2:05 and since i'd never been there before, we kind of got lost or well, didn't know where to go. luckily, we were at nagoya station a bit earlier and had around half an hour to search for the place. with only mcDonald's as the landmark, we trekked on straight ahead. luckily, there was this kind person, whom i asked, and he showed us the way. i was so happy to see the placard with 109 cinemas printed on it and a big fat arrow. あった！the place turned out to be like a restaurant/cinema complex, still relatively new. it was quite contemporary and classy. the lobby/ticket vending area looked like a hotel lobby. happily, wednesday is ladies day and we got in for only 1000 yen! ^o^ the cinema itself though resembled the ones at greenbelt 3. and greenbelt is much cheaper too!! same great quality for less the price.

for dinner, we ate at Mos Burgers. finally found a branch! i couldn't eat anything but salad, soup, fries, onion rings, and ice cream cake. i decided to take the caesar salad and broccoli onion soup. the latter would be perfect during a rainy day or any cold day in general. kind of reminded me of the chowking commercial where two ladies are eating this hot noodle soup while it's misty and raining outside. also, i was able to get a chocolate custard crepe to eat during the movie. hehe. it was yummy ^o^ that was my lunch. talk about good habits - having dessert for lunch. there seemed to be a lot of good albeit a bit pricey restaurants around the area so i'll probably go there some time to try a few of them out.

moving on to the movie, it was breathtaking. the shots were taken beautifully - lighting and everything. it was just a feast for the eyes. content wise, it was okay. i didn't expect much as i was just happy and curious to see how the book was interpreted. i must say that it was pretty good. as expected, it concentrated more on the love quotient, which was fine with me. the cast did a spectacular job - intense, effective, controlled. rob marshall did a spectacular job! but i guess, the thing i'll remember most about this movie is the cinematography - exquisite. also, the actress who played the young sayuri was fantastic!! she was so pretty too! suzuka ohgo ^o^ her eyes have such depth. overall, i must say that this movie is one of the best i've seen in a while.

other movies i'm looking forward to seeing are Pride & Prejudice, Chronicles of Narnia, Family Stone, and Brokeback Mountain.

oh yeah, i bought boots. ack!! hehe. it wasn't really a spur of the moment decision...just kinda. hehe. it'll keep my feet warm at least. i was debating between the short (more feminine, pointy boots) and the high (feminine too, but cowboy style boots) and finally decided with the latter. i guess i'm just not that into pointy boots. in this case, they were just too pointy. and the high ones would look better with a skirt i suppose (not that i wear them often). buying them just makes me feel like i can blend better with the japanese, like i'm a bit more fashionable. haha. plus, i must admit that i enjoyed wearing them ^o^ awesome!

snow!

it snowed again today!! this time - real snow!! the rooftops were white, the green area at nanzan was no longer green but white, real snow people!! not the type that looks like rain. this time, it was big drops of white snowflakes. boe shouted "eka!!" around 7am. i thought she was calling for me so i woke up too, a bit groggy. then i heard her shout Snow!! that was the magic word. sleep ol' me scrambled out of my bed and quickly opened the curtains...and indeed!! it was snow!! we were like little kids - twirling in the yard despite the biting cold. snow tends to have this magical effect on people - well, foreign exchange students at least. ^o^ one of my wishes has come true.

...and the curtains are drawn

yesterday and today (dec 12 and 13) were the presentation dates for our Time Machine project. it was something i had kind of dreaded ever since the teachers told us about it. It wasn't so much the script-writing and memorizing part but more the performing in front of the class part.

in the end, it wasn't so bad. i think i was able to deliver my lines effectively. i could've done better on the acting part but it wasn't that big of a deal. ^o^ my favorite performances were that of caesar (with his 殺すspiel - it was hilarious), genghis khan (おれ様：joey fit the part to a T - arrogant, nonchalant, indifferent), tokugawa ieyasu (the tissue paper/deodorant bit was funny, as well as the hygiene-themed discussion), crowley (sacrificing a deer to get good grades - ingenious! and that crying act by オシシックさんwas quite fitting).

everyone did such a good job. with jamie and her charlie chaplin antics, ハヨンさんand his mother teresa get-up, manu singing "imagine" by john lennon, stuart killing off henson-san in order to become the 司会者, stangel-san and him coughingly portraying mozart, michael han and his suave arrogant french ways, chou-san crawling out of the time machine, sabrina painting a cross-dressed everson-san, we singing happy bday to michelle, babe ruth (karu-san) and his eat-an-apple advice (which was later changed to carrot) - in response to spania-san's question, emi and her smooooth time machine intro, katz-san and his ああ、大変なことですかresponse to emi forgetting her lines, spania-san "straining" a muscle in wanting to show off his martial arts skills, elizabeth I getting mad at being asked a question pertaining to her love life, the reunion of the tokugawa grandfather-grandson thanks to the time machine, genghis khan challenging caesar to a fight, robbie asking elizabeth about what she thought about bush, kondi-san with his trademark 質問が二つあります, jonathan and his boot-wearing, gay shakespeare impersonation, marie and her mesmerized-by-shakespeare-fall-off-the-chair act, all the 出発gimmicks...

...everything just seems like a dream. an end to all those weeks of practice and costume planning. to the nerves and cold hands. as everything comes to an end, with the last days of the semester devoted to reviewing past lessons, certain feelings are stirred - wistfulness, sadness, happiness - this semester i have gotten to do lots of things i'd never get to do at ateneo. i've got to meet and interact with so much more people. i've learned a lot about the japanese culture. i've learned to be more independent. i've gotten used to taking the subway to almost anywhere, to cooking my own meals, to writing text messages in japanese, to saying いっただきます、行って来ます、ただいま, of eating lunch in the locker room and listening to marie, mariko, and mary compare the latest chocolates they've eaten...

as things come to an end, it seems much easier to recall everything, see it all in flashback mode, slow motion. these people who have been part of my life these past three, four months are people i might and will most likely not see for the rest of my life. these are the people who are not quite my friends, yet not quite just acquaintances either. so how do we categorize the people whom we meet through circumstance?

so as the time machine project came to an end, so is the fall semester. take a bow everyone and give yourselves - ourselves - a big round of applause. we deserve it.

*bow*

me and my partner!

one over the other

an important thing about life is that you have to make choices. you weigh the advantages and disadvantages, try to determine the outcome, scrounge for other possibilites - all in the name of making a good decision, choosing the right thing to do. coz once you make a decision, you can't really undo it. be them minor or major, our lives are molded, created by the choices that we make.

unfortunately for me, decision-making is not my strong point. i love thinking of possibilities, turning them inside out in my mind, coming up with all sorts of different situations. but that's all i'm good at - turning them in my mind, visualizing scenarios. when it comes to the actual decision-making, i just falter.

i chose to go home this winter break. my dorm mates are planning their trips to tokyo, osaka, wakayama, and other places. so i'm thinking should i have stayed instead of going back home? this is the time when my mind works overtime with rationalizing my arguments and convincing myself that i made the "right" decision.

i was just thinking that by choosing one over the other, you miss out on certain things. the choices we make - are they the ones we were meant to make, part of the overall grand design of our life? it's like one of those choose-your-own-adventure books i loved to read as a kid. only that, i can't go back to the last chapter and undo the choice i made. having to choose just leaves me with this twinge of worry (that i'm not making the decision that i'm supposed to be making) and wistfulness.

...then again, i might just be over-rationalizing, thinking too much about this decision-making business...

姉ちゃん

this afternoon i went to my partner for the Time Machine project Patricia Winkler's homestay family's house. It's in Nonami and she lives there with her host mom. There are only the two of them, plus a dog (Jyori) - whose a mini collie, who can say ohayo! and can sit (o-suwari) and play dead (when you say bang!) - and two ferrets who stay in the house. The house is really pretty. I especially loved the kitchen/dining area/living room. The living room was like a sunken part of the kitchen/dining area and faced sliding glass doors which gave a view of the beautiful garden. It resembled an american-type house actually except that the garden was Japanese-style and there was a 和室.

it was a mini get-together. robbie and stangel-san were supposed to go but both of them got sick. coincidentally, i kind of am too. sad =( nothing serious. it's just that i think i'm coming down with a cold coz i've got a sore throat. it was so painful when i woke up this morning. yan-san gave me some ginseng tea to drink, which was probably why my throat miraculously got better late this afternoon. going back to the get-together, it was me, patricia, emi matsushita, and ashley alexandria. the three of them are from the states. we had a big salad which was really good (with broccoli and cherry tomatoes and a really good onion dressing), tofu hamburgers (there are tofu hamburgers in japan!! yehey!! veggie food!! i went to kanayama afterwards and brought two packs of tofu hamburger mix. i was elated ^o^), hash browns, sushi (more like onigiri), peppermint chocolate (absolutely delish! nothing screams christmas more than peppermint), marshmallows with jelly fillings, apples (that tasted like honey - really yummy!), cheese, french bread with cream cheese, chestnuts. yes, it was a smorgasbord. we really did stuff ourselves. it was really yummy! ^o^

at around 4, there was this 3-year old Japanese girl すずちゃんwho came by with her mom. she was really cute, rosy cheeked, with her hair up in pigtails. she wore red colored socks (or stockings) that had these cute bear and rabbit pictures. she kept pointing to them and saying 熊さんと兔さん. the elephant stuffed toys were also referred to as 象さん. it was really cute how all things were referred to as ~san. she called me 姉ちゃん(ate or atchi) which i found to be really endearing. she was a bit spoiled though. really talkative, amazing for a three-year old. reminded me of lyxen a bit (who uses ama lourdes' expressions). すずちゃん uses her grandmother's expressions too. her pronunication was a bit different, unclear so it was kind of hard to understand what she wanted to say. her mom had to translate for us.

overall, i had a really fun time. it was like a relaxing saturday get-together with friends. it reminded me of canada a bit ^o^but i liked the feeling of hanging out with friends, talking, eating...simple things can make you feel lucky. 幸せね！

stuck in its intricate web

1. love
as a psychology major, i study about the emotional, social, and cognitive aspects of individuals. i am taught how to figure out people's problems and emotions through tests and counseling sessions. it is only recently, this past year or two, that i have realized how powerful psychology really is. it doesn't involve a lot of textbook information. you don't have to go groping about in your mind to pinpoint the exact psychological term for something. rather, it is more like critical listening, something much more practical...

this thursday, there was a sort of tête-à-tête in the kitchen which lasted till 2am. as things started to pour out - questions, regrets, emotions, pain - they all flooded the room, whirling, floating...until they settled in a heap, surrounding the room in a sort of mysterious mist, leaving us with things to think and reflect on, to question and attempt to figure out.

i don't have a lot of experience when it comes to love. i've only been in one serious relationship and i don't think you could call it serious if you compared it with other relationships. so far, in my stay here, with the people i've met and conversations i've had, i have found out how consuming love can be. by giving your all, you risk losing yourself, your dreams and hopes, your purpose. i've always thought that loving too much was unhealthy. in life, we form all sorts of relationships - with family and friends - yet in the end, life is for us to live. we make connections with other people, perhaps to create a false sense of comfort, to be able to depend on someone, to learn how to love and to share - yet we tend to get so attached that we are unable to live separate from them....yet as unhealthy as loving fully and wholeheartedly is, it is necessary in order to fully experience life. as clichèd as it may sound, it makes us whole. it is an emotion that runs deep and it stirs and awakens us. with it, we are able to be sacrificing & understanding even though it might crush and hurt us. we seek love, fall victim to it, and we can either sink or rise from this state.

the thing is that armed with new experiences, we ask ourselves why we didn't do so in the past, then we could've changed so many things. but if we were to go back to the past, we still wouldn't know what we only figured out in the present. so those experiences in the past were (are) necessary for our growth in the present. but then, we can't help but turn past events over and over in our hands, thinking of the infinite what if's. we question our characters. we compare ourselves with other people. in that state of denial, we ask why things ended the way they did...we somehow can't seem to resign in it to fate. it wasn't meant to be. the right person in the wrong time. are we to forever fall victims to such uncontrollable circumstances? or is blaming uncontrollable circumstances better than blaming ourselves?

2. selflessness
this kind of stems from the previous thought...but do we take care of people because we truly love them or do we do it for our own benefit? do we take care of our parents in their old age because of a sense of duty (we'd feel guilty if we didn't do so) or does it stem for selfless love? i don't think that there are clear-cut answers. it's usually a mix of both. when we ask a crush who's not feeling well how he is, do we do it because we're concerned for him or do we do it so that he can see how "caring" and concerned we are? so i guess, it all depends on perspective. so does everything we do boomerang? do we do things because unconscioulsy we know that it will make us appear in a good light?

3. selling brides
read an article in the daily yomiuri yesterday. in india (or certain parts of it), the male:female ratio is so skewed that there is a shortage of brides. which is why, they send mail orders for brides. these women usually come from poor areas and are usually really young, even 15 or 16 at times. it also said that there are many cases of sex-related baby killings. even in india, they prefer males over females. i think that this might happen to china as well, with the one-child policy and all. sigh. the changes society undertakes.

4. harry potter and the goblet of fire
watched it at piccadilly yesterday with kanittha, boe, and mawar (whose name means rose in indonesian). i don't know, was kind of disappointed with the film. guess i liked the third one better. the fourth one was much darker (with the atmosphere always dimly lighted or raining). it seemed much more rushed too. you wouldn't understand it if you hadn't read the book. cedric diggory was cute. hermione was so pretty! but it was still pretty good anyways ^o^

5. time machine project
have to memorize the script over the weekend. it's three pages long. but i'll get it done. will have to make index cards as well. i guess i have gotten used to making presentations. it's kind of fun, doing it in japanese. we're interviewing elizabeth the 1st. speaking of the project, my partner particia invited me to her homestay family's place today. i should be leaving anytime soon. it should be fun since i've never been to a real japanese person's house yet.

drops of snow

it was 0 degrees this morning. i checked the thermometer before leaving for school. it is now officially winter. of course, what's a better symbol for winter than snow?

i saw snow today!! haha. i haven't seen snow since i was a child in canada. i haven't gone sledding or made snow angels since. i haven't drank eggnog nor experienced frostbite. of course, nagoya isn't exactly known for snow blizzards. so even if i did see snow, they were so tiny that they could be mistaken for rain droplets. a flake (if you could call it that) landed on my black glove. that was the only time i could confirm that it was snow ^o^

snowdrops. snowdrops. snow makes the cold a bit more bearable.

thoughts...just thoughts...

five things that have crossed my mind in the past few days:

1.
is it bad to believe in multiple religions? not believing in one religion solidly didn't seem so bad to me. i mean, i'm buddhist and catholic (though i don't go to Church). but recently, i have been questioned about my faith a lot. for me, religions are all the same, all with God at the center. They just have different methods of worshipping. So for me, it doesn't really matter what religion i profess to be as long as I have God in my life, as long as i try my best to do good deeds, to be a good person. But now, i'm thinking, would concentrating, choosing just one religion to fully devote to be better? Would it give me a better sense of direction? Or on the contrary, would it make me close-minded and judgmental of other religions?

2.
love. though it's not on my priority list, it is at the back of my mind and sometimes it does pop up once in awhile. being here in japan has made me realize a few things about this mind-boggling yet beautiful emotion. it has made me think of human weaknesses, dependency, companionship, and sacrifice. it has made me laugh at how ridiculous we act at times because of it. it has warmed my heart in how it makes life seem much more wonderful when it enters our lives. it has confused me with its complexities and layers. it has saddened me in the fact that love seems to be missing in the world nowadays.

3.
level 2 japanese language proficiency exam. emma's taking the test this sunday. i was leafing through her review books yesterday in the locker room and was hit by how hard it was. sumida-sensei said that i could take (or try taking) the level 2 exam next year. kamei-sensei said that IJ400 students were in between the 2 and 3 levels. i think that i'd pass level 3 but there's such a big gap between 3 and 2 that it's making me doubt if i'll be able to do it. grammar, kanji..ack! i need to buy review books before i go home. so i've decided to read at least one newspaper articles every day since they're loaded with kanji. gambarou!!!

4.
ghosts. do you believe in their existence? i do. i know they roam the world. spirits that haven't accepted their deaths yet. i've never thought much about them prob'ly coz the thought scares me. though i'm trying not to be as scared coz God is here and with Him, there's no reason i should be scared. but recently, eric has had this episodes and run-ins that have made me realize that that other plane really is real, too real for comfort. so real, that it stirs a certain fear, fear that we won't be able to repel them. we reach for things to protect us. faith should help us get through such things right? so i'm thinking that it is only during times of fear or when something awful happens that we remember or revert to religion. this shouldn't be the case. it should be a staple in our lives, a constant element. something that centers us. not just something we run to, struggle to grasp when faced with uncontrollable things. i need to work on that..religion isn't one of my strong points and i still need to figure how exactly to focus on it more.

5.
christmas presents. i'm going home for christmas!! on christmas day actually. i'll be in nagoya in the morning and late night, i'll be home in manila. so i've been thinking of what presents and pasalubong to get, all within budget of course. i still have to decide on what the budget will be though. hehe. but i love gift-giving. i don't know why. maybe prob'ly more than receiving presents. i like thinking of what presents to give to people, although it can be a bit of a headache at times. it's just fun to think of what the person might like. it is the thought that counts.

there you go. 5 things - a mix of the heavy and light. supernatural and real. happy and not-so-happy thoughts. how bout you? what sorts of things have you been thinking of?

btw, there's this beautiful song: I'll Be With You by Scott Malone. It's from the Bee Season trailer. Also, Craig David's I'm Sorry (I Don't Love You No More) is a wonderful song ^o^

God bless!!

Home!!

I'm going home during the winter break! Yey! Of course, before i came here i was all like no i'm not going to go home during december. there's snow in Japan and i'd like to see how Christmas there is. But still, the idea of home is much stronger than my desire to see how Japanese spend their Christmas.

Plus, it'll give me some sort of a breather. i feel that i've been acting on some sort of mode lately. maybe by going home, i'll be a bit more myself. change of environment for awhile is good. plus i get to see my mom, my dad, and my two lovely sisters!!

home - the epitome of comfort, love, and security. nothing beats it. home sweet home.

白川公園での運動会

yesterday, we five girls from the dorm attended the Nagoya Sports Fest which was held at Shirakawa Park in Fushimi. It's a pretty nice place, surrounded by a science & technology museum on one side and an arts museum on the other side. The event was similar to the FunFest event held at Uno every December.

There was a Treasure Hunt, a bread-eating contest (with a slightly different twist - you had to hold a person on your shoulders so that that person could get hold of the bread hanging on a clothesline string). i did not join that game as i don't think i would have managed to hold anyone who wasn't a child on my shoulders. just too dangerous. i ended up joining three games ^o^ one was the "three-legged" race which wasn't three-legged at all. you and your partner had to put on these two super big sacks joined together and then just run to the finish line. as simple as it sounds, we (nancy and i) didn't win. the competition was just too aggressive. hehe. people pushing and butting others around in their desire to reach the finish line first.

The other game i joined was the ball throwing contest. know those colorful little plastic balls which are placed in a shallow pool-like area where children can sink into that sea of balls? well, those sort of balls. then there's this basket in the middle of big circle, elevated on a stick. you (along with around 20 other people) attempt to throw those colorful balls inside the basket. fun game ^o^ of course, the winner is the team who gets the most number of balls into the basket.

the last game i played was Tug of War, which is why, as embarassing as it is to admit it, my arms are aching today. yes, you said it, not enough exercise. the slightest "strenuous" activity (or should we call it slight stretching) will cause my body to ache in complaint. but in defense of myself, it's not that i don't exercise. i mean i do walk to school everyday (well, to and from the subway stations). and i do carry heavy stuff (the milk cartons and groceries i buy every tuesday). and i do stretch and all (aikido practice three times a week). so no one can accuse me of being a bum...hehe ^o^

the downside to the event was that nancy's bag got stolen. her agnes b bag that looked so elegant and ladylike. we had left our bags on the benches as there was someone from ufj looking after them (or so we thought). when we came back from the ball-shooting game, nancy noticed that her bag was missing. of course, by this time, i would have panicked. but nancy kept her cool and went to the 交番with 吉田さん. so this proves that japan isn't that safe. i've been warned by teachers and by the cjs staff (during the orientation) that although japan is safer than the philippines, it is not as safe as we'd like it to be. but in a foreign country such as japan, we tend to let our guards down. apparently, this shouldn't be the case.

now, a popular crime is a guy riding a motorcycle snatching a girl's (who happens to be walking on the sidewalk) handbag. there have also been cases of theft at nanzan.

which leads me to the question: what is the world coming to? boe and i were talking about this very fact. it kind of stemmed from the initial topic of global warming. the topics that followed ranged from sex parties to natural disasters to suharto & his cruelty to God saddened by what mankind has turned into to religion. boe and i connect on that level. we're both troubled, saddened, perhaps angered by the turn of events the world has been (and still is) taking.
どうしようかな。

birthdate

Your Birthdate: October 20

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride. Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing. When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it. It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious. Your strength: Your warm heart Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions Your power color: Black Your power symbol: Musical note Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

unraveling that single thread

intertwined. interconnected. interdependent. don't you feel that that's how life is? as an individual, i am but a single thread in a richly-colored tapestry. i zigzag, traverse among so many other threads, swishing in and out, binding other threads together and being bound at the same time. i am so much a part of the tapestry that it is impossible to unravel me without unraveling the tapestry entirely. completely intermingled, meshed within that majestic scene, i cannot figure out where i start and where i end. all i know is that i exist, amid all those colorful hues. i am essential, indispensable for i comprise a part (albeit small) of that tapestry. yet as much as i am indispensable, i am ironically insignificant. people see the tapestry in all its grandiosity and perfection. they do not see the single threads; they see the grand picture. the only time people would notice the threads, notice me was if there was a snag in the intricate design. they would notice me missing because of my weaknesses and faults. i am singled out because i have broken the still perfection of the tapestry.

in life, our lives are often so interconnected that we don't know where "i" end and the "other person" starts. lives are often so intertwined that even when two people are far apart from each other, even when they cannot see each other, each other's lives are still dependent on each other. so how do you unravel yourself from this intricate web of dependence? how do you live for yourself when your moods, thoughts, emotions seem to be linked to someone else? do we possess the lives we live? of course we do. then why choose to let someone else do the living for us? by unraveling ourselves from the tapestry, we risk losing the false comfort that that perfect ideal scene in the tapestry provides us. we risk losing our sense of security, our carefully-balanced lives, our carefully kept-in-check emotions.

but sometimes it is necessary to disturb that serene stillness. it is necessary to create havoc, to shatter that false sense of comfort, to come tumbling back into reality. we have to face pain and truth. forever stuck within that tapestry, we are assured of a safe and comfortable albeit bland existence. be that snag in the tapestry. the unraveling process will likely be similar to the domino effect. you cannot initiate change without effecting some sort of change from others. as that single thread makes its way - slowly, gingerly, cautioulsy - out of that "home," it snags on other threads, disfigures the scene of perfection. yet at the same time, it creates a new overall effect - it brands the tapestry with an aura of experience, maturity, and authenticity. the imperfections make it seem more genuine.

live life for God and for yourself. life may be intertwined but it can be undone. knots can be untwisted. do not choose to stay bound and knotted because of fear. dare to venture out on your own. learn to be independent. don't let others do the living for you.

so slowly, gingerly...let the unraveling begin...masterpieces are waiting to be created...

pakistan earthquake charity concert

on friday (nov 11), there was a mini concert at the logos center. sabrina karim, a fellow IJ400 student as well as my partner for the first project, together with the Coffee Hour staff, organized the concert. All the money collected would be donated to the relief efforts for the victims of the Pakistan earthquake. The event included performances by both foreign and Japanese students, as well as a raffle. The top three prizes being a 3000-yen GAP gift certificate, a 2500-yen Outback Restaurant gift certificate, and two 500-yen McDonald's gift certificates respectively. I won a McDo gift certificate. 500-yen is enough to buy two salads and a small-sized French fries order. The salad is yummy ^o^

The event was quite fun. At 245, i helped Keiko buy snacks and set up the place. Alex and the rest of the guys were busy with the technical stuff. Kento also came early and prepared his MC speech. He's a nice guy. I think he studied in America for a year or less coz he can pretty much understand English but he doesn't speak it a lot. Most Japanese are like that. They can understand but they don't like to speak the English language. A Japanese friend of B's said that it's because they're conscious of their pronunciation since their English is katakana-English. But that really shouldn't be the case...one shouldn't be afraid to speak a langauge. it's all part of the learning process.

naomi, jennifer, and i handled the drinks and snacks. the performances were interesting too. i loved manu's band. it was relaxing and fun - kind of resembled jack johnson. they performed papua new guinea music. then, o-zakku's performance was cool too. he sang a japanese song he wrote about japanese girls, how they wanted to find an american boyfriend so they could practice english, etc. it was hilarious ^o^ then greg and shio performed. awesome on guitars. ito sensei's performance was well-applauded as well. he really has this upbeat energy about him. then, there was mawar's western java dance. she dances so gracefully. then, chen played the chinese flute. he self-studied it. how talented can you get? it was nice and comforting to hear traditional chinese flute music. sort of reminded me of the bandari music dad plays in the car.

i got to talk to new people, met up with japanese friends, enjoyed the performances, and was able to get a fair share of the snacks so it was a wonderful night. ^o^ we were able to come up with 100,000 yen. that's about 1000 US dollars. that amount in one night, i'd say not bad.

i learned though that all it takes is initiative to get something done. sabrina is a person who's into volunteer work and helping people. and in a way, i'd like to think that i'm like that too - someone who wants to make a difference in the world. what she has that i don't though is initiative and determination. she has plans and goals and she goes all the way to see that these plans get accomplished. dreams are important but the action behind these dreams is even more crucial. without drive, spirit, and initiative, these dreams and goals will forever remain as dreams - hopeful yet stagnant. so, let's go get some initiative!

puffs of air

the weather has gotten colder - true-blue, authentic autumn weather. japanese people have been saying that the weather this year is a bit weird as there have been beautifully warm days in november when there should have been none (oh bring back the sun-kissed blue-skied weather). so with the present weather, my hands and feet are often cold. i wear sweaters and coats though so it's not really a big deal. what i discovered tonight though was that the weather was so cold that air puffs were coming out of my mouth when i breathed and talked. just like in canada. it was fun ^o^ hehe. air puffs mark the beginning of so many things and rekindle so many childhood memories.

had my arubaito today - english conversation. there were two students this time - kato san (aki) and halu san. they were much more interactive than the previous students so i had much more fun. i didn't really prepare a concrete lesson plan but i feel that i was able to teach them something (more on vocabulary). plus they were just happy with the chance to be able to communicate in english. so today, i definitely felt more at home with this teaching thing. thank you Lord.

right now, i'm reading (rather, trying to read) the japanese translation of mathilda ^o^ and more good news, harry potter's showing next week!!! 絶対見る。Hehe

the roof is falling down

right. i forgot i wanted to jot something down. yesterday, as i was about to go downstairs to take a shower...wait, background first. for showers, i bring down my towel, pJs, and basket of shampoo, soap, and facial wash ^o^ okay, so i was carrying my stuff when all of a sudden i dropped the basket. and who knew that it would make such an ear-thudding boom?!?! so not long after that ear-deafening thud, i heard my dorm mates' (who were downstairs) scrambling footsteps. B even opened the door to check if anything had fallen though from the second floor. Coz before, while opening my window, i actually pushed the screen part out of the window frame and it crashed from the second floor to the yard below. sigh. i'm a walking disaster. yes i am. so B thought that my window screen had fallen out again.

when they (Yan-san, B, Eka, and Nancy) saw me coming down from the stairs (I was in a fit of laughter by then), they all looked at me with a "was it you" expression. in hindsight, it wasn't that funny but at that time, i laughed till my face got read and tears were in my eyes, partly from embarrassment and partly from the look on my dorm mates' faces ^o^

me and my mini commotion. gave me the good laugh that i needed. loosened up my tightened nerves. God knew just what i needed. there's nothing better than a good laugh at times, even if it was directed at myself. Hehe. So here's (a toast) to being able to laugh about our own mistakes and stupid actions. \(^o^)/

苦しい

monday night dinners - i don't know whether to see them as a gift or as a curse. Of course, someone cooking food for us is a welcome change from cooking meals by myself. The downside, though a very shallow one it is, is that there's just far too much food. and too much food equals weight problems. hehe. at least it's only once a week..i have the rest of the week to try to lose the weight i gained during monday night. this is pathetic. haha. ^o^ but despite that threat to my weight, i look forward to monday night dinners （夕食）. we, dormmates, help in the food preparation; thus, i learn how to mix different veggies together and make unique dishes. so every monday night, 12 sets of dishes and bowls (there's always miso soup) are laid down on the long dining table. The side dishes - salads (though not always the leafy vegetable kind), fruits, and main dish (meat or fish. though i get a tofu or potato substitute ^o^) are equally divided. it's pretty fun. hehe

also, the person who makes our meals (person with glasses, on far left of photo) goes out of her way to make sure i have something to eat as i'm vegetarian. i feel that the reason why we always have so many veggies for our dinner is because i'm a vegetarian. hehe ^o^

i'm so full now. tonight's dinner as can be seen in the photo below included macaroni salad (yummy!), a seaweed salad (this is i think a uniquely japanese dish), tofu fried in egg (the rest had pork), potato wedges, broccoli, and a beansprout/veggie salad. in the back portion of the photo is a red bean sweet. we ate it with tea. perfect match. fruits were persimmons and pears from france (at least that's what i heard お母さん say. hehe.)

yes indeed. it was a dinner fit for a king.

to italy and back

Yesterday, i spent the day in italy with nancy. we strolled the cobbled streets, breathed in the crisp sea air, savored the delicious pasta dishes popularized by Italians. Yes, we were in Italy for a day and we were able to get back (to japan) just in time for dinner. ^o^

In nagoya port, there is an Italian Village aptly named Villagio Italia. Upon entering the majestic gate, i felt i was being transported to a quaint European village. There were gondolas and bridges, pastel-colored buildings with that distinctive European architecture, horse-drawn carriages, gelato shops and small sidewalk cafes. There was even a statue of David and the Bocca della Verita (Mouth of Truth). The latter I saw in the movie Only You starring Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey, Jr. It's one of favorite movies ^o^ The legend is that if you place your hand in the mouth while telling a lie, it will bite your hand off. It's been so long since I saw the movie that i was kind of surprised that when i saw the Bocca, the first thing that came into my mind was that particular scene in the movie where the two main characters were testing to see if the legend was true.

Although small, the village exudes a comfortable small town charm. Wanting to take advantage of the Italian feel, Nancy and I decided to have lunch at one of the small cafes. We had pasta and a salad. Super yummy. Sitting by the sidewalk, looking at the gondolas and people walking by, it really felt like we were in Italy. And like the Italians, we spent almost two hours talking and enjoying our meal. It was surreal. We had gelato afterwards. I had blueberry cheese and milk. Nancy had caramel and chocolate. Unlike the gelato i tried in Manila which was too thick and too sweet for my tastes, this was smooth and creamy with just the right amount of sweetness. Sinful indulgence.

There was also a small chapel where weddings could be held. A wedding planning office was just across the said chapel. sigh, i think that the place would be the perfect backdrop for a wedding. it just reverberates italy (or europe in general). romantic. historic. special.

there were shops selling Pinocchio dolls and stuffed toys. The stuffed toys were so cute. I'm such a sucker for cute cuddly things. Hehe. I wish i could fill my room with all sorts and shapes of stuffed toys. They just make me feel like a kid again. Plus, for me, they provide an uncanny sense of comfort and companionship when i'm in my solitary moods.

i bought some cute unique bookmarks and pinocchio pens. plus i got pants/jogging pants. all in all, i think i spent a lot of money. sigh. but i don't regret it. ^o^ i'll just have to keep my budget in check for the rest of the month.

it really was such a beautiful place. i'd love to go there again...to italy and back...

香嵐渓

yesterday, i went to 香嵐渓 with my dorm mates. it's a place in 愛知県, not far from nagoya. the place is famous for momiji (red leaf) viewing come autumn. it's still early so only a few trees had actually changed into a deep rich red. so the place was scattered with yellow, red, orange, and predominantly green.

first we went to a place to see sakuras. these bloom in late november so it was a pity that we didn't get to see them in all their full beauty. still, sakura blooming season is in march so i'll still get to see the real deal ^o^

next, we went to a paper/drawing place. lots of children were sitting down, using pastels and watercolors to capture the nature stills. i thought the place to be perfect as the nature provided a relaxing solitary feel that can be associated with artists.

after that, we went to 香嵐渓 and trekked to a stream with big boulders. it kinda reminded me of villa escudero, where you eat in the shallow stream, savoring the food while you sink your feet into the cool water. this time, we enjoyed our bento lunches on the cool boulder sleets, taking in the majestic aura of the tree-filled mountains and the cool refreshing wisps of fresh air. it was a beautiful experience.

there wasn't really anything remarkable about the place. it's the type of place you'd go with family on a weekend - a place to walk around, appreciate nature, relax and unwind. it's sort of like tagaytay ^o^ but i still found it to be really fun. we took a lot of photos, and it was hilarious with my dorm mates trying out new poses and making funny faces.