Just came home from embrazzo :) it was a really great crowd :)
I'm super happy kelly and yeye enjoyed the seminar.
valentine's day has come and gone. i survived single awareness day :P
had dinner with kelly, yeye, and jerome at mandarin wok. it was a fun way to spend the evening :) it's been a loooong time since i talked to both kelly and yeye.
i've been busy with LEAP these past few weeks, from weekly council leader meetings to flex orientations to working on my goals to council meetings, etc. it's just been really hectic. i'm learning to strike a balance among work, family, friends, and leap. But LEAP's been amazing so far. I've become aware of so many things and I just love the positive environment.
Work's been a bit busy too, with the two-day telecon last week where i acted as interpreter >.< I've been reading up on IT terminology and other system-related documents since then.
I start my violin lessons this Tues :) Looking forward to that.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Sunday, February 01, 2009
deep breaths
The past few weeks have just passed by in a blur.
I have been busy with ALC and LEAP for the past two weeks.
(ALC and LEAP are leadership seminars at OCCI. Ping me if you want to learn more about them :-) )
It's been an overwhelming deluge of emotions and realizations, and I have yet to process all this energy and sometimes I feel
I'm just grateful for the entire experience and I'm looking forward to the next two months.
=============
Last night, I had dinner with Ste, Che, Sharmane, and Ni at Burgoo Rockwell. The conversation was light and easy. We talked about Che's upcoming study trip to Shanghai, about work, Royce chocolates, and what's going in our lives now. We ended the night with a sweet (and tart) yogurt treat at FIC.
Korean classes end next week. Haven't been to class for the past few weeks so I have a lot of catching up to do.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The Beauty of Memories
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button unfolds through the series of events that Benjamin has jotted down in his weary leather journal. The audience plays silent witness to the story written in the journal's yellowing pages and handwritten scribbles. As Caroline reads the journal to her mother, we go along for the anything-but-ordinary ride and in the process, experience a remarkably surprising yet exquisitely poignant tale of love and life.
The film starts off with the tale of a blind clockmaker, who in dealing with his grief for the son he lost during war, made a magnificent clock whose unique feature was that its second hand moved counter-clockwise. He intentionally made it that way, the clockmaker said, because he wished he could turn back time and undo all the horrible things that happened to him, to his son, to the world.
It's a peculiar thing, experiencing life backward. We are thrown head first into the complicated, boisterous world of adults. And because our young minds cannot really understand all the comings and goings of society, we simply accept whatever is thrown at us and go along for the ride, absorbing everything like a sponge, never really distinguishing the good from the bad, never quite comprehending what is right and what is wrong. Wouldn't that just put our basic moral foundations in disarray?
But Benjamin turns out pretty well, despite the unusual childhood he led. Like many youth, he left home in search for his identity and place in the world at the age of 17, except his exuberance and derring-do was housed in a 60ish old body. He travels the world as a seaman, meets new people and acquaintances, falls in love, experiences death and war. He grows up and becomes a man.
Benjamin makes a lot of decisions in the film. He makes tough choices and regrets having missed out on certain opportunities. The film touches on how our lives are intricately intertwined with the decisions - be they inconsequential or life-altering - that people make. All those seemingly small decisions tumble against one another, creating a worldwide domino effect. Life is full of what if's and if only's. We cannot possibly control all the different decisions people make in their everyday lives, much less the order of the cosmos. While our lives can be partly said to be result of our choices, we never see the whole picture. And we can only hope and pray that we have enough strength and faith to play out the cards that were dealt us.
The relationship between Benjamin and Daisy ties up the different ends of the story. He meets Daisy when he is young. Daisy seems to sense the youthful energy behind Benjamin's wrinkled features, and they immediately form a kindred connection. The film is, at its core, a love story. It is a story about the sacrifices and choices we make to protect and preserve love - not only romantic love but love in all possible senses and dimensions of the word. Love runs the whole gamut of emotions, from the blissful happiness during the falling in love state, to the decided perseverance in choosing to weather out the falls, to the peaceful contentment of a comfortable co-existence, and lastly to the hollow sadness one feels when losing a partner. There are lucky ones who have the chance to experience a lifetime of love. There are those who never really got a chance at it. Then, there are those whose happiness gets taken away midway. These are the people who only have memories to look back to, memories which serve as a window to a long ago existence and they enthrall and torment with the sweet lingering happiness and sad haunting longing they evoke.
Memories are symbols of the milestones we had in our lives. As mortals, we acknowledge that life is temporary and thus realize the importance of memories. Many a good night is shared when friends and family reminisce over dinner or drinks about past events - be they triumphs or failures. There's a good reason why we have the expression "to see things in hindsight." Because it is when we look back and reflect on the things that were, that we come to terms with, and sometimes even appreciate, where we are now. It is in the looking back that we are able to move forward.
~It is not the years in our life that matter but the life in our years.~
The film starts off with the tale of a blind clockmaker, who in dealing with his grief for the son he lost during war, made a magnificent clock whose unique feature was that its second hand moved counter-clockwise. He intentionally made it that way, the clockmaker said, because he wished he could turn back time and undo all the horrible things that happened to him, to his son, to the world.
It's a peculiar thing, experiencing life backward. We are thrown head first into the complicated, boisterous world of adults. And because our young minds cannot really understand all the comings and goings of society, we simply accept whatever is thrown at us and go along for the ride, absorbing everything like a sponge, never really distinguishing the good from the bad, never quite comprehending what is right and what is wrong. Wouldn't that just put our basic moral foundations in disarray?
But Benjamin turns out pretty well, despite the unusual childhood he led. Like many youth, he left home in search for his identity and place in the world at the age of 17, except his exuberance and derring-do was housed in a 60ish old body. He travels the world as a seaman, meets new people and acquaintances, falls in love, experiences death and war. He grows up and becomes a man.
Benjamin makes a lot of decisions in the film. He makes tough choices and regrets having missed out on certain opportunities. The film touches on how our lives are intricately intertwined with the decisions - be they inconsequential or life-altering - that people make. All those seemingly small decisions tumble against one another, creating a worldwide domino effect. Life is full of what if's and if only's. We cannot possibly control all the different decisions people make in their everyday lives, much less the order of the cosmos. While our lives can be partly said to be result of our choices, we never see the whole picture. And we can only hope and pray that we have enough strength and faith to play out the cards that were dealt us.
The relationship between Benjamin and Daisy ties up the different ends of the story. He meets Daisy when he is young. Daisy seems to sense the youthful energy behind Benjamin's wrinkled features, and they immediately form a kindred connection. The film is, at its core, a love story. It is a story about the sacrifices and choices we make to protect and preserve love - not only romantic love but love in all possible senses and dimensions of the word. Love runs the whole gamut of emotions, from the blissful happiness during the falling in love state, to the decided perseverance in choosing to weather out the falls, to the peaceful contentment of a comfortable co-existence, and lastly to the hollow sadness one feels when losing a partner. There are lucky ones who have the chance to experience a lifetime of love. There are those who never really got a chance at it. Then, there are those whose happiness gets taken away midway. These are the people who only have memories to look back to, memories which serve as a window to a long ago existence and they enthrall and torment with the sweet lingering happiness and sad haunting longing they evoke.
Memories are symbols of the milestones we had in our lives. As mortals, we acknowledge that life is temporary and thus realize the importance of memories. Many a good night is shared when friends and family reminisce over dinner or drinks about past events - be they triumphs or failures. There's a good reason why we have the expression "to see things in hindsight." Because it is when we look back and reflect on the things that were, that we come to terms with, and sometimes even appreciate, where we are now. It is in the looking back that we are able to move forward.
~It is not the years in our life that matter but the life in our years.~
Thursday, January 15, 2009
chinese new year reminds me of...
Chinese New Year is fast approaching. As we start preparing for the rituals and celebrations, I thought I'd list down some things that pop into mind during this lunar calendar holiday.
- Feng shui. Someone came by our house earlier and offered some remodeling tips :P We need to have a fish pond constructed in our garden as our house lacks the element water. Feng shui advisers have an uncanny ability to detect people's personalities and various supernatural and natural vibrations. Interesting but a bit scary~
- Horoscope readings. It's the year of the ox which means new predictions on whether this year is a good one or not-so-good.
- Kiet-a (the tiny ponkans). It's the time of year for buying taro, golden coins, lucky trinkets, etc to help shower in good fortune for the new year.
- Tikoy! Resembles the Japanese o-mochi but we cook it by dipping the white rice cake in egg and frying it. Recent years have seen the addition of sweet corn, pandan, and ube-flavored tikoy. Of course, there's always the belief of offering tikoy to the Kitchen God so that he won't report bad things about your household :P
*****
i've been feeling a bit sluggish lately. maybe it's because of the cool weather these days. or it's because i'm experiencing a bit of a quarter life crisis and i'd like nothing more than to squirm away from decision-making. i need to re-focus.
taking alc next week. not really expecting anything. i just hope to learn from it :)
Sunday, January 11, 2009
friendship
Had a fun Saturday get-together with HS friends :)
Met up with Lin, Malt, and Jerome at the Trinoma MRT station after Korean class.
Lin and I were able to catch during the train ride to Ayala. I missed talking to her :)
Met up with the rest of the peeps at Fely J's.
Dinner was filled with lots of anecdotes - high school teachers, Jerome's MRT moment, Hans' dorm experiences - and laughter.
Also got to chat with Candee and Char's mom :)
Overall, it was a simple dinner made special by the company.
*This week's gratitude list:
1. Saturday get-together/bonding with friends
2. Got to chat with Sir Capili and other Ateneo friends on Facebook
3. YM with Neil who has such a unique brand of sarcasm and humor :P
4. Family dinner at Sentro (although Ni wasn't able to go :( )
5. Getting an e-mail from B, who I haven't heard from in ages!
I read a quote by Abraham Lincoln today and it sort of stuck to me.
It's not the years in our life that matter, but the life in our years.
Very true, isn't it? :) Interesting play of words.
Met up with Lin, Malt, and Jerome at the Trinoma MRT station after Korean class.
Lin and I were able to catch during the train ride to Ayala. I missed talking to her :)
Met up with the rest of the peeps at Fely J's.
Dinner was filled with lots of anecdotes - high school teachers, Jerome's MRT moment, Hans' dorm experiences - and laughter.
Also got to chat with Candee and Char's mom :)
Overall, it was a simple dinner made special by the company.
*This week's gratitude list:
1. Saturday get-together/bonding with friends
2. Got to chat with Sir Capili and other Ateneo friends on Facebook
3. YM with Neil who has such a unique brand of sarcasm and humor :P
4. Family dinner at Sentro (although Ni wasn't able to go :( )
5. Getting an e-mail from B, who I haven't heard from in ages!
I read a quote by Abraham Lincoln today and it sort of stuck to me.
It's not the years in our life that matter, but the life in our years.
Very true, isn't it? :) Interesting play of words.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
being vegetarian
I don't remember exactly when I became vegetarian.
I do, however, remember why I chose to become vegetarian.
One of our family friends lent me a video to watch. As you may have guessed, it was about slaughter houses :( I was in first year or second year high school at that time. I only have vague recollections of what that video contained but I remember just crying and crying, and an overwhelming sense of pain and pity. And that was what triggered my decision to shift to a vegetarian diet.
Of course, being 13 and belonging to a Chinese community, my decision wasn't very well accepted, and after a few months or so, I succumbed to the disapproving stares of my relatives and resumed a normal omnivorous diet. It was in 2nd year college that I decided to go vegetarian again. This time, instead of stopping cold turkey, I first removed red meat from my diet. Eventually, I got rid of chicken, and lastly fish and seafood.
I'm not a strict vegetarian in the sense that I can eat dishes that have meat or seafood mixed in them. I try my best to remove the meat, etc but it's alright if I happen to eat some of the morsels I missed. I'm okay with drinking fish soup or seafood soup. I don't gag when I eat meat, although it does taste different now since it's been removed from my diet for a while. I am not bothered when people who eat meat. In my family, I am the only one who is vegetarian. I help out in the kitchen and I cook meat dishes too.
In the almost 5 years that I have been practicing such a lifestyle, I have oft been the object of disapproving looks and sarcastic comments. I've always tried to take these with a grain of salt, but I've come to realize that the Chinese community is a harsh place for a vegetarian to be in :S
I admit that I have a harder time bonding with people over dinner because my food choices are limited. I don't know if I don't have much interest in food because I'm vegetarian or if I didn't really care about food in the first place :P I dread mealtimes when I go out with new people. It's such an awkward experience :(
I'm writing about this now because my grandparents have been telling me that it will be hard to meet someone who will accept my vegetarian ways. My sister, of course, tells me that people who care will accept me for who I am. While I am thankful that my relatives have learned to accept my non-meat eating ways, I am doubtful if society - particulary Chinese society - will be as kind. I am getting tired of receiving derogatory comments and judgmental looks, and sometimes I wonder if it's worth the effort. I guess it all boils down to my priority. Is being accepted worth giving up a principle I believe in? It is perhaps, in part, a struggle for identity, and wanting that identity to be recognized and respected.
People's opinions and comments just make me sad sometimes.
They cause me to re-think things, to doubt my decisions. They make me revisit the reasons why I made the decision to become vegetarian.
Honestly speaking, I know I won't be changing my diet anytime soon. Maybe it's because I've been at it too long.
So, I should just put a brave face on and accept that there will always be opposing opinions.
If only indifference could be learned overnight.
I do, however, remember why I chose to become vegetarian.
One of our family friends lent me a video to watch. As you may have guessed, it was about slaughter houses :( I was in first year or second year high school at that time. I only have vague recollections of what that video contained but I remember just crying and crying, and an overwhelming sense of pain and pity. And that was what triggered my decision to shift to a vegetarian diet.
Of course, being 13 and belonging to a Chinese community, my decision wasn't very well accepted, and after a few months or so, I succumbed to the disapproving stares of my relatives and resumed a normal omnivorous diet. It was in 2nd year college that I decided to go vegetarian again. This time, instead of stopping cold turkey, I first removed red meat from my diet. Eventually, I got rid of chicken, and lastly fish and seafood.
I'm not a strict vegetarian in the sense that I can eat dishes that have meat or seafood mixed in them. I try my best to remove the meat, etc but it's alright if I happen to eat some of the morsels I missed. I'm okay with drinking fish soup or seafood soup. I don't gag when I eat meat, although it does taste different now since it's been removed from my diet for a while. I am not bothered when people who eat meat. In my family, I am the only one who is vegetarian. I help out in the kitchen and I cook meat dishes too.
In the almost 5 years that I have been practicing such a lifestyle, I have oft been the object of disapproving looks and sarcastic comments. I've always tried to take these with a grain of salt, but I've come to realize that the Chinese community is a harsh place for a vegetarian to be in :S
I admit that I have a harder time bonding with people over dinner because my food choices are limited. I don't know if I don't have much interest in food because I'm vegetarian or if I didn't really care about food in the first place :P I dread mealtimes when I go out with new people. It's such an awkward experience :(
I'm writing about this now because my grandparents have been telling me that it will be hard to meet someone who will accept my vegetarian ways. My sister, of course, tells me that people who care will accept me for who I am. While I am thankful that my relatives have learned to accept my non-meat eating ways, I am doubtful if society - particulary Chinese society - will be as kind. I am getting tired of receiving derogatory comments and judgmental looks, and sometimes I wonder if it's worth the effort. I guess it all boils down to my priority. Is being accepted worth giving up a principle I believe in? It is perhaps, in part, a struggle for identity, and wanting that identity to be recognized and respected.
People's opinions and comments just make me sad sometimes.
They cause me to re-think things, to doubt my decisions. They make me revisit the reasons why I made the decision to become vegetarian.
Honestly speaking, I know I won't be changing my diet anytime soon. Maybe it's because I've been at it too long.
So, I should just put a brave face on and accept that there will always be opposing opinions.
If only indifference could be learned overnight.
Friday, January 02, 2009
Gotta Be Somebody
This song strikes a chord.
It says something about my current state of emotions.
Cool song~
----------------------------------
Gotta Be Somebody
performed by Nickelback
This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know, when it shows up, make sure you're holding on
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me
Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know their not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
It says something about my current state of emotions.
Cool song~
----------------------------------
Gotta Be Somebody
performed by Nickelback
This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing
I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know, when it shows up, make sure you're holding on
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me
Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know their not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Thursday, January 01, 2009
on the safe side
I only noticed now, that I haven't written any entries for December.
To encapsulate, I was the Xmas Party Chair for the (as the name suggests) Christmas Party of Fujitsu and Weserv. Now that I'm looking at it in retrospect, I feel a calm sense of fulfillment and even happiness. But in the heat of things, I was stressing over the purchasing of raffle prizes, program preparation, stage safety, weather conditions, and releasing of funds. Being fairly new to the company, I was often nervous about whom to approach, whom to ask, but I was blessed with a committee of dedicated and helpful people. Without their help, I would've been a dead duck :( And so, the party's over. I enjoyed the WeServ fashion show presentation tremendously. I am happy that all is done and over with. To be honest though, I still don't know how I managed to pull it off...
I have a new project at work which I guess will keep me busy in the meantime.
Went to Bohol and Cebu for a family vacation. Had fun being tourists and eating :D Posted photos on my multiply site so feel free to visit. My favorite part of the trip was seeing the tarsiers and the chocolate hills. And getting to catch up with Kim in Cebu :)
So, that's the past year.
*****
Happy new year! It is now 2009. The first official day of 2009.
I've spent half the day trying to change my template but I couldn't tweak the margins so I'm sticking with the current one :(
December ended with lots of decisions needing to be made.
I think I need to go into the family business. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against it. I guess I've come to accept it, as a natural life evolution (of Chinoys :P). By February, I'll have two years of outside work experience. Whether it'll be helpful or not is still uncertain, but I think it won't be completely useless. I'm a bit apprehensive because it's still such alien territory. I'm considering making this decision because of the chats I've had with my dad, and partly because I feel it's time. Could I be any less philosophical? XP I've given it much thought and it's only now that I feel a certain peace when I think about the transfer. Plus, my parents and relatives aren't getting any younger, and I don't want things to be left without any proper transition.
I'm pushing through with MBA applications. Wish me luck~
I think 2009 will be full of change. I can feel it. Whether change will be good or not, I have yet to find out.
*****
I'm not the most confident person on earth. And I dislike being put in situations where I feel I have to market myself. In situations like that, I have no idea which foot is my best, and so I end up clumsily putting two left feet forward. In situations like that, I turn into a chameleon of sorts, trying to think of "correct" things to say. Sometimes, situations like this bring about false expectations and lead to embarrassing conclusions. Sometimes, things work out in the end. I'm just not very good at the "in-between" stage, and it can be pretty nerve-wracking living things out until the conclusion stage. But I guess it can be a wealthy source of emotions and learning. So, I'll just have to keep things in perspective.
Reading Emily Giffin's Something Borrowed now. I can relate to the main character Rachel. I sometimes wonder if my life would've turned out differently had I been willing or even capable of being less careful, less responsible, less mindful. I guess I'll never be 'live-today-as-if-it-were-your-last, live-in-the-moment' type of person. I'm not exactly resentful over the fact. I just wonder at the possibilities, kind of like reading a "what if" adventure book.
To encapsulate, I was the Xmas Party Chair for the (as the name suggests) Christmas Party of Fujitsu and Weserv. Now that I'm looking at it in retrospect, I feel a calm sense of fulfillment and even happiness. But in the heat of things, I was stressing over the purchasing of raffle prizes, program preparation, stage safety, weather conditions, and releasing of funds. Being fairly new to the company, I was often nervous about whom to approach, whom to ask, but I was blessed with a committee of dedicated and helpful people. Without their help, I would've been a dead duck :( And so, the party's over. I enjoyed the WeServ fashion show presentation tremendously. I am happy that all is done and over with. To be honest though, I still don't know how I managed to pull it off...
I have a new project at work which I guess will keep me busy in the meantime.
Went to Bohol and Cebu for a family vacation. Had fun being tourists and eating :D Posted photos on my multiply site so feel free to visit. My favorite part of the trip was seeing the tarsiers and the chocolate hills. And getting to catch up with Kim in Cebu :)
So, that's the past year.
*****
Happy new year! It is now 2009. The first official day of 2009.
I've spent half the day trying to change my template but I couldn't tweak the margins so I'm sticking with the current one :(
December ended with lots of decisions needing to be made.
I think I need to go into the family business. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against it. I guess I've come to accept it, as a natural life evolution (of Chinoys :P). By February, I'll have two years of outside work experience. Whether it'll be helpful or not is still uncertain, but I think it won't be completely useless. I'm a bit apprehensive because it's still such alien territory. I'm considering making this decision because of the chats I've had with my dad, and partly because I feel it's time. Could I be any less philosophical? XP I've given it much thought and it's only now that I feel a certain peace when I think about the transfer. Plus, my parents and relatives aren't getting any younger, and I don't want things to be left without any proper transition.
I'm pushing through with MBA applications. Wish me luck~
I think 2009 will be full of change. I can feel it. Whether change will be good or not, I have yet to find out.
*****
I'm not the most confident person on earth. And I dislike being put in situations where I feel I have to market myself. In situations like that, I have no idea which foot is my best, and so I end up clumsily putting two left feet forward. In situations like that, I turn into a chameleon of sorts, trying to think of "correct" things to say. Sometimes, situations like this bring about false expectations and lead to embarrassing conclusions. Sometimes, things work out in the end. I'm just not very good at the "in-between" stage, and it can be pretty nerve-wracking living things out until the conclusion stage. But I guess it can be a wealthy source of emotions and learning. So, I'll just have to keep things in perspective.
Reading Emily Giffin's Something Borrowed now. I can relate to the main character Rachel. I sometimes wonder if my life would've turned out differently had I been willing or even capable of being less careful, less responsible, less mindful. I guess I'll never be 'live-today-as-if-it-were-your-last, live-in-the-moment' type of person. I'm not exactly resentful over the fact. I just wonder at the possibilities, kind of like reading a "what if" adventure book.
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