perfect endings

Sharing a quote by Gilda Radner.

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories dont have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."

I've been having fun updating my Tumblr site :D

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Had my hair cut today. The hairdresser refused to cut it too short because he said the roundness of my face would be emphasized. So I just had it trimmed a bit and layered :)

Biggest change would have to be the hair color. Not really noticeable in this picture though :(

My hair is now a shade between black-brown and mahogany brown. I like it :D

confusion

1. Sunny Winter White Flowers n Bokeh, 2. 93:365 {united}, 3. bright things come to confusion, 4. Circles of Confusion, 5. 137 - Circles of Confusion, 6. Confusión

"Love goes cold in the shades of doubt."

Chanced upon this quote in Tumblr. This describes my state perfectly.

It's been two weeks.

The conversation's been fun and light, at times sweet and kind.

However, words without action don't really mean anything, do they?

I may be waiting when I shouldn't be. And even if I've chosen not to, I still may be expecting something, in the unconscious dwellings of my mind and heart.

And so here I am, stuck in this vacillating state of confusion, happiness, and doubt.

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Yesterday, played LaserTag and watched Up with my cousins! Super duper fun! I'm super thankful to my twin cousins for arranging everything! It truly was a lovely and memorable night.

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I'm going to China next Thurs with my grandmother and aunt. I won't be here when Howell and Wincen leave for the States and Canada, respectively :( Boo~

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Had lunch at Manila Hotel's Mabuhay Palace today with Howell's family. Food was yummy. I didn't know Manila Hotel had a good Chinese restaurant. The interior was really nice too.

hot springs

I am sunburned and my lower arm is darker than my upper arm :( 

But the fun weekend I had with my cousins more than made up for my red sunburned skin :)

We left really early on Saturday, 5:30 am to be exact. Zombie-like, we piled into Sharmane's van. It was a quick ride as we reached Laguna after an hour or so. It was a nice big rest house, with a pool shaped like a foot with an adjoining round kiddie pool. Ama dipped in the kiddie pool while the rest of us jumped into the bigger one.

We played around with Che's camera, which she had protected with a water-proof case. It was cool taking underwater shots. I found it hard to stay underwater long enough for a decent photo to be taken. I kept floating up :( 

It was a languid day. We sang karaoke on the old machine that was on the patio. Then, we'd jump back into the pool and play splash games, then talk some more. 

Afterwards, we headed off to Tagaytay where we spent the night. Ni, Howell, Mane, and I helped Che cut up the jackfruit and separate the fruit from the seeds. It was a sticky task! Good thing we rubbed cooking oil on our hands first. Dinner was pretty simple. The dishes were mostly leftovers from lunch. We spent most of the night just sitting on the porch, reminiscing about previous outings - the Highlands camping trip, Shanghai-Xiamen China tour, roller coaster rides - and other funny moments.

I was so tired after dinner but the rest of my cousins weren't. They all headed up to the room Ni and I shared and played cards, analyzed logic games, and chatted. I fell asleep halfway through a logic game XP 

Today, we had breakfast at Bag of Beans. Chatted with Gil and Wincen about life philosophies, men with six-pack abs (Gil was the one who started on the subject! ;P), parental expectations, personal dreams, anime shows, travel stories, Japanese humor, etc. It was just us cousins and Howell so the mood was light and fun. 

It was a pretty long ride home, around 2 hours. Listened to Rob Thomas' and Marie Digby's new albums most of the way home. Had a late lunch/early dinner at Luk Foo before heading home. 

Cousins came over to use the internet coz the connection was down at their place. Our house was pretty lively for a few hours :) Sat around the garden table with Che, Bri, J, Ni, and Howell talking about plans for next Saturday. Angeles Flying Club looks like a cool place :) Should finalize plans by Tuesday.

It was a relaxing weekend~ 

It's really nice having cousins you can chat and bond with.

snip snap

i'm thinking of having my hair cut. 

i wanted to have it permed, but now i think i just want to keep it short, with soft wisps to frame my face. here are some of my choices, taken from this japanese website. When it comes to trendy hairstyles, I trust the Japanese :)

which do you like?

i'm leaning more towards hairstyles 1, 2, and 7.

(First row: 1-3, Second row: 4-6, Third row: 7-9)

I wonder how auburn hair would look on me~ Hmm...

tough

Tough day today.

I woke up to the sounds of the TV as it announced that the Mass for Pres Cory would be starting in a few minutes. I watched as celebrities and political personalities streamed into the Manila Cathedral. Seeing the swarms of yellow-clad supporters made me feel a weird combination of patriotism and sadness. 

I didn't have time to listen to the eulogies as I had work. 

Work wasn't that eventful. I had a few head-to-head encounters with my dad, which sucked. Every time such encounters happen, I feel my world literally closing in on me. And I always feel the urge to escape. Always. Escape in the literal and figurative sense. I'm pondering the thought of moving abroad. Even at this point in my life, I'm still playing tug of war when it comes to life choices and future plans. My goals are pretty much the same. It's the "how-to-get-there" that changes daily. Sigh. 

The ups for the day included seeing Gil! :D And Howell's visit to the office. He even brought vegetable lasagna which he claims to have made himself :) And my Yummy mag subscription arrived! Nothing helps soothe frayed nerves than glossy photos of delicious food!~

Back at home, I continued to follow Pres Cory's funeral on TV. It was a heartwarming sight, seeing all those supporters waving and shouting their support. I cried a few times, as I could feel the Aquino family's sadness, the country's mourning. I never realized how much Pres Cory symbolized democracy and hope. I never knew how much she inspired and united the Filipino people. Today, as we laid her to rest, I silently prayed for her soul and thanked her for everything she gave and offered to the Filipino people and nation. 

Thank you, Pres. Cory. May you continue to guide us from above~

not my type

i was listening to colbie caillat's latest single - fallin for you. it's a breezy, relaxing song. i watched the video on youtube. in the video, she speaks about going out with a guy who's not her type, but he seems fun so she's giving him a chance. 

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now that my sister has a boyfriend, i feel that people are suddenly focusing more on my being single. If before they let it pass, now it seems like they're hurrying to find a suitable someone for me. I've gone to my share of events and parties - meeting people, appraising people, smiling till my cheeks went sore and the smile went out of my eyes. But really, you can't honestly judge a person based on a two-hour conversation. I mean, if you like the person, great. But it'll be hard to undo the damage of a bad two-hour conversation. I tend to pass judgment quickly - bitchy as that may sound - and it's hard for me to give someone who left a bad impression, a second chance.

colbie's song, i think, speaks of falling for someone who's not your type. i've met my fair share of "not-my-types." I try to be partial but i can't help but assess and grade. i dismiss people easily. it's not one of my best traits. it's hard for me to un-form first impressions and i tend to stick to certain perceptions of people - be they misconceptions or facts. i try my best to be open-minded and accepting, but the truth is i tend to brand people and the label sticks. 

people have been telling me to not set my expectations too high. And so, i've lowered the bar a bit. I can't help thinking though if that should be the case. All this talk about not setting your sights too high and having realistic expectations makes me feel as if I'm running out of time. Sure, it'd be fun to have someone but I don't want to "settle" just because people want me to be with someone. 

I just feel that I'm at this age where I don't really have time to collect and select. Maybe it's not a matter of time, I just don't feel like collecting and selecting. It's too tedious. Might be because I'm an old soul at heart, but I find that going out on dates, being set up, and other related activities can be a bit tiring, especially if they happen in succession. I understand the need to meet new people. It's just that dating seems like such a chore. It's all about putting your best foot forward, of making sure no veggies get stuck in your teeth, of appearing kind and cheerful and understanding. Sometimes, I just want to skip the whole "getting to know you" process and skip to the "this is the real me" stage, but it seems as if I go on automatic "pleasant mode" whenever I go out with someone. 

I've been praying for patience and guidance, because even though I'm pretty even-tempered, I can be a bit impatient. I guess I'll take things as they come. I'll probably rant and sigh every time I get set up. I'll probably have to plaster on a friendly smile from time to time. But I guess no matter how you act, bits and pieces of your genuine personality trickle through. So, maybe I needn't be too concerned about keeping appearances and putting my best foot forward. Although, I still think I should work on not judging people too quickly.

thinking of summer

I was leafing through the August issue of Homes and Gardens UK. Felt inspired by the beautiful home gardens that branched out from pastel-colored kitchens. Made me think of breezy summer days out in the country~

1. Homemade Lemonade, 2. Country Style, 3. Blueberry Pancakes, 4. Rustic Kitchen

lilac inspirations

1. Wine & Roses Bag, 2. Purple Flats, 3. Color coded bookshelf, 4. Teddy Bear, 5. Smocked Two-tone Skirt, 6. home office, 7. Reading Corner, 8. 23/52: I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.9. Berry Tiramisu