p.s. i love you

Cry fest! Just watched P.S. I Love You on dvd. It's a sweet, sentimental, sappy story of love, life, and moving on. Nini and I first watched this movie at Galleria before. We watched the last full show as we were staying overnight at the next door Holiday Inn. I remember falling in love with Ireland all over again because of this movie. I've never been there but my fascination with Ireland began as a kid when I watched shows about leprechauns and castles. And I love the Irish lilt and Celtic music :)

Tutor session went nicely today. The kids got excited seeing Disneyland on the subway map. Lesson for today was asking how to do something. Gave them giant Pocky sticks which Ahia loved and Shobe not too much.

Had dinner with D at Italianni's where we feasted on salad and pasta and capped it off with citrusy tiramisu. Delish! :) Headed off to Banapple afterwards. Ran into Cha at Rustan's supermarket and Cristina at Banapple. Got a slice of warm shoofly pecan pie (Love!) and some muffins (Verdict to follow). The place was crowded. Haven't tried their other cakes aside from the banoffee pie and shoofly pie. Anyone have surefire favorites?

Should head off to bed now. I hope I dream of Ireland~

Suki's love for Yakult

My violin lessons have resumed after almost a year's hiatus.

My arms and fingers ached but I thoroughly enjoyed my session today.

Practiced my old pieces and tried playing Gavotte in its slow version.

I missed playing the violin :)

It's been raining non stop these days. Interspersed showers throughout the day. The weather makes me feel sluggish.

Had a funny episode with Suki the other day. We discovered that she likes to eat mooncake yolks! :) And she drinks Yakult! She drank the last few drops from Nini's Yakult bottle, licking the outer rims. She seemed to want more so Dad split one with her, pouring half of the Yakult into Suki's saucer. It was fun discovering Suki's "worldly" tastes in food :D

I've been bringing my camera around these past few weeks. I find it easier to capture memories with photos.

wish list

Books I will be looking for in the bookstores :)

Things have been hectic with work and my part-time teaching duties. Weekends have been spent with friends and family, doing mostly eating :| An interesting restaurant I tried was East Cafe at Rustans Makati. The food was Asian fusion. The ube cheesecake was pretty good too.

I found Aimee Bender's "Incredible Sadness of Lemon Cake." I bought the hard bound copy coz I've been itching to read it :)

August is almost coming to an end, and the -ber months are approaching.

I'm almost 25. Makes me wonder how much I've accomplished and how much I still have to work for.

I long to escape in dreams I don't remember when I wake up

I listen to your voice as you ask me how my day was. It sounds a bit weary, frayed, and maybe a bit bored. I probably sound the same way too. I try to listen to the subtle lilts in your tone - the tired sighs, questioning silences, half-hearted replies. I wonder when communicating became this...difficult. Tiredness and restlessness ebb in and out of me, weaving a pattern of battered emotions and listless thoughts.

Today wasn't a bad day though. Work was relatively quiet, and I had time to think about reports and stuff. Spent a quiet evening with Ni at the mall. We bonded over Subway sandwiches, softdrinks, and chips and cookies. We got silly and tried on the rows of deadly high high heels lined up in rows at Charles & Keith. I even got two pairs of flats in taupe and salmon. EDSA was cooperative as well, and we were home in time for the guilty pleasure that is our daily tv soaps :P

At the end of the day, listless I still am. And so I'm thankful for the three pages of translation I still have left. I bury my listless thoughts for now as I tackle those Japanese HR terms.

this wandering, tired soul

The weekend stretch from Friday to Sunday is a whirlwind of teaching duties for me. Friday, I teach Japanese at a high school. Then weekends are devoted to one-hour tutorial sessions to two adorable kids I've come to love :) I find that I like teaching. I love how the kids eyes light up when they understand something, and when they realize they can understand the basic Japanese I'm talking to them in. It's such a wonderful experience, being able to share what I know and to see other people learn and love something I love as well. Given it's hard work to keep them interested, I pore over past notes and teaching websites to find things to keep lessons interesting; but I think I'm getting the hand of it, slowly but surely.

I had lunch with D's family at a Japanese restaurant in Makati today. It was a yummy lunch - light and easygoing. We then headed off to GB for a quick coffee (or in my case, chocolate) fix.

My nerves have been getting the better of me lately. I'm easily tired and easily get paranoid. I read things the wrong way, and I find that it's so much easier to react with doubt and anger than to be understanding and giving. My selfish side might be taking a toll on my relationships. It's been a roller coaster of emotions - some good, some not so much.

The smallest things unhinge me. Things that I'd normally let pass, I find increasingly irritating and immature. Maybe I'm just tired. But then there's only so long that you can use "tired" as an excuse, than it just becomes routine...complacent behavior.

So, I'm stuck in this cycle of self-hate and emotional destruction, spreading depression and anger and hatred (not in awfully large doses but enough to create cracks in even the most patient relationships).

So, I pray. I hope I can help and soothe my wandering, tired soul.

legally blonde

Just a short recap of this weekend :)

- Watched Eclipse with Ni, H, Ai, and D. Dinner at Bigoli's where we wondered if we could finish 24 slices of pizza to topple the winner of the eat-all-you-can-pizza challenge.

- Had my first tutor session on Sat. Went well :) I think I'll improve along the way. Braved the metro traffic to Makati to see Inception. Missed the first 10 or 15 minutes of the movie (which I was able to read about on the internet :D ) but I was able to follow the general plot of the movie. It was amazing. I loved the idea of dream architecture. Brilliant :) I'm glad to say I have my feet firmly planted in reality.

- Sunday. Had a good session with Ahia. I should prepare tougher assignments next week, I think. Watched Legally Blonde the Musical in the afternoon at Meralco Theater. Nikki Gil was brilliant as Elle Woods :) It was a really funny and entertaining show. Loved it :) Afterwards, headed to Newport City for dinner with D's family. It was my first time inside Marriott. I wonder if it'll be a bustling area in a few years.

July 19 marks Sookie's one month "birthday" with us :)

nomnomnom

D took me out to dinner tonight :)

We decided to try out Nomnomnom along Tomas Morato cor. E. Rodriguez. I'd read about the restaurant in this month's issue of Yummy, and it seemed like an interesting restaurant with its many vegetarian offerings and Norwegian-inspired architecture - white and sparse and clean with tiny bursts of color on the white walls.

The place is small and cozy and welcoming. For starters, we ordered Four Play, which was a serving (plus an extra serving!) of pita chips with hummus, roasted clove of garlic, salsa, and another dip. I enjoyed the appetizer :) The pita chips went well with all the dips.

Then, we tried the spinach ravioli. The tomato salsa accentuated the spinach test :) We ordered the squash soup too, but I found it too thick. I used it as an extra dip for the pita chips instead. But the croutons that were served with the soup went quite well with the garlicky flavor of the squash.

For our main course, we tried the Talong and Lasting Love pizza :) Now, i personally do not like eggplant unless it's minced and diced or blended until it no longer resembles it's original self. But the grilled eggplant on this pizza was divine. I simply forgot about my love-hate relationship with the purple vegetable. I think it could be the crust that was crunchy and chewy at the same time. I took one bite and fell in love :) Haha. It's that good.

I scanned the menu and found a few more dishes I wanted to try. Of course, my ever so kind partner-in-crime gave in to my request to visit nomnomnom again :) I'm sure he enjoyed the food as much as i did.

For a sweet night cap, we went to icebergs for a sundae (for me) and a banana split for him.

Nice way to end the day and to celebrate the demise of my symptom-less cold :)

magra falsa

I just finished reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love :) Loved it.

From the "Love" part of the book, I got this Brazilian term, which I love.

Magra falsa or "false thin"

In the author's words, "the woman looks slender enough from a distance, but when you get up close, you see that she's actually quite round and fleshy."

It's a good thing, this word. It connected with me because I've had the "problem" of being too chubby for a while back. And it's only recently that I've grown kind of thin. And still, I find myself fat. I have to remind myself sometimes that bones and skin do not thin define. They define emaciated :|

I read Julie Buxbaum's second novel, After You a week ago. And here's a quote that struck me.

Speaking of marriage (and relationships, in general), she says:

"Five years ago, I said vows. And I believe in vows. I meant them, and not just when I said them out loud for an audience to hear but as a motto and a life choice...I hadn't anticipated the sandy flow of feeling, the yin-yang of love and dread, or the residual buildup of grievances and the slow draining of the benefit of the doubt...But in my naivete, I interpreted this [In good times and in bad] as external; we would support each other when the world imposed and intruded. No one tells you that it's the internal that's the real challenge: those moments of decisiveness equal to taking a vow, when you feel the clawing grip of your promises."

We put too much emphasis on circumstances and situations. We blame them for how we've changed, how we've become. It's hard to see sometimes that it's us who's changed, it's the internal that's changed or transformed, reacting to the external.

I loved the book, by the way. I loved Sophie and her precociousness. I liked how Ellie lost and found herself, and her journey in between.

I've been in a bit of a rough patch recently. Could be mild depression or just an overly zealous pessimistic side. It's been gnawing on my optimism and happiness. Rather, I've been letting it gnaw. I'm chewed to the bones :|

I've had a fever, then a cold that wouldn't appear - no symptoms but I could feel it bottled up in my body - so my eyes became so puffy from all the pent-up cold symptoms. Now, I'm taking 27 tablets a day until Wednesday until my cold symptoms - my poor red throat and phlegm-filled lungs - let up. Then, my wisdom tooth decided to join in the fun and my gums are swelling :( Dentist appointment next week. Sigh, my body has joined the negativity bandwagon.

After reading Eat Pray Love and After You, which are incidentally books about picking up your life, I have decided that it is time to pick up the pieces of my depressed state and time to stand tall. My heart distresses over the thought of QA work but that's that. I got to face it and just do it.

As a side note, I'm excited to see the movie version of Eat Pray Love. I loved the book and absorbed its notes on spirituality and happiness and growth. While I wish I could pack up my bags and spend a year in three countries as well, I think I could do more by picking up the life lessons the author has imparted.

"I honor the divinity within me."